Hey guys! so I reworked my cover, feature and department based on Coni's comments and also some help from Izzy and Brittney, Dan, Rob and Branin in class today, which really helped and allowed me to push it much further. I reworked every page fixing the body copy, text size, colors, page elements. Also, reworked the cover. But it doesn't end here. Any comments help! Would love to hear from you! Thanks so much!
Naidin,
ReplyDeleteI already told you in person, but I wanted to re-iterate that the work you did on the title of your magazine cover works really well. It is very clever to use the objects in her hair as part of the type. The embossing and overlay work well to communicate your idea while remaining legible.
As for the spread, I think it all works, but nothing about it screams feature to me. I think it is because it is so much text presented for the first two pages of the article. Some suggestions: try moving the start of the text lower and moving the title to the top of the right hand page - or - try separating the first paragraph from the rest of the copy and setting it in a different typeface/grid structure to intro the story. It might not work, but it might be worth testing out.
Nadin,
ReplyDeleteYAAAS! The cover has come a long way. I really like what we talked about earlier on the cover with the word "FOOD" it looks so much better and the legibility is much much better. The colors you used to make things stand out on your cover also work better with an array of colors not just the orange. One critique I just noticed is if your going to put page numbers on some articles maybe put them on all? Or maybe it would look strange? Food for thought.
We also talked about your spread in class, I think reducing the amount of returns looks so much better. A little on the image on the left hand page, maybe drop the word Hunger down a little. I feel like it’s really close up to the apple. Also, don' forget to add your folio's, (unless you waiting to do that at the end)
For your department, I don't remember the original too much but this design is strong. I like the hashtag usage in the department article tab. and I like the way the image is used with the pull quote but maybe in a different location. Something about it on the image isn't doing it for me. Also, the lines you've created are unique and creative but they are creating trapped negative space, especially in the bottom corner.
Great Work!!!
Naidin – so much of this is successful and shows much creative work on your part.
ReplyDeleteCover: Love the theme treatment, you have solved the readability issue in a really creative way… just right for this audience. I’ve been wondering, for awhile, about the masthead being so small in upper right. This is an important element… how can you increase its part in the composition? Clearly, the face and theme title is the focal point – which is a different approach than usual… but refreshing, and understandable when speaking to your particular audience. Maybe, if the masthead sat in a bar of color it would not get lost? Something to enhance it just a tad might be good. I know I’ve mentioned this before, but are you sure the cut-lines aren’t being overly intrusive over the photo? Could you eliminate “Hot Stuff: The New Face of Hunger” (which seems like you might be making “light” of this issue) and “Next Green Revolution” which doesn’t have the attention-grabbing effect that the other cut-lines do.
Department: This is 99% done, but I agree that the lower directional line might come too close to the column of body copy. Why not turn the corner sooner as it heads down to the bleed edge? BTW – good solution with the lines… they are doing a good job of adding interest to the page, activating large areas of neg space, and leading our eyes through the design. Nice.
Feature: I remember mentioning a while ago that the title word “Hunger” could move down just a bit, and I notice that someone above said the same thing. I believe its close alignment with the refrigerator rack is distracting. Your solution to the emphasis within the introductory quote works just fine now. I do agree that you could use a bit more negative space below this quote, and that you need to find a way to chunk that amount of body copy… could you create some subheadings? That would go a long way in making this amount more inviting to read.
That’s it – keep it up.