A blog for Summer 2015 NEiA Publication Design class with instructor, Coni Porter. The purpose is to offer faculty and peer feedback in a timely manner, allowing and encouraging the students to progress in a focused and productive way. As the semester ends, this class has produced 117 posts, 263 comments, and been viewed by over 5,000 internet readers. See the last group of postings below to view final student work: sample pages for the (fictional) Habitat Magazine: The Future of Food.
Wednesday, August 26, 2015
Carissa - Design Brief & Reworks
Hey guys,
I wasn't in class last week to get feedback on my Design Brief, but I made a few changes with that and also reworked my cover, dept, and spread to match my brief.
Can you see the crowd behind the spotlights, it’s a standing ovation. I didn’t think someone could be successful with applying a soft pastel color scheme to subject matter that encompasses habitats and sustainability. What a great job. Your cover, feature, and department present very different layouts and yet they provide the reader a consistent look and feel which carries the brand you’ve created for the project through the work. One again, really great work here. You certainly didn’t select colors or typefaces that would easily be a normal standard for this subject matter. I’ll be interested in learning how others view your results.
Cover - Your cover has a confirmable and welcoming balance and unified approach. The graphic elements flow nicely throughout the page. Your translucent blocks appearing above and below the plates are very successful. If I had to find one thing to pick at, I would say it’s the masthead. The typeface used here is just not for me, but then again, I’m probably not the target audience here. I would certainly recommend not making any changes based on my dislike, but consult someone whom would be part of your audience.
Department - Your use of shadows here really adds to your design and provides a visual depth to the design. Much of the time I feel drop shadows are overused. In this case I believe they add to your design and do not take away from it. I would consider though that the drop shadow from the two top items is stronger (darker) than that of the large block of text at the bottom. Possibly matching the drop shadow opacity to the same values will create a balance in the presentation.
Feature - You feature surely makes use of the spread, kind of like an open table inviting me to sit down and to take a closer look. I could avoid the feature though because the body copy is so massive and has new were for my eyes to rest. I feel like it’s an entire book appearing in one paragraph. Could be overwhelming to the read. I might consider breaking this out into two columns rather than one very wide column. Just a thought, see what others are saying.
Carissa, I agree with Michael about the color palette. It works very well with your audience. So good job here!
Cover: I see what you did here, but I think the pink background might be too pink? Unless that is what your going for, then that's fine. Maybe a lighter color for the pink instead of the bright one. Or maybe keep the wood texture because I think that would add a nice detail to your cover.
Department: I really like this a lot. I like the use of the text bubble and I really appreciate the typography here. I don't know if the stars are the best icon to use here? Just a thought.
Feature: The only critique I have for this one is the black type feels too harsh here in the layout. Try lowering the type size or increasing the opacity of the box.
Carisssa – I believe you have received some good things to think about in the above 2 comments. Some things I’d like to reiterate and some new items:
Cover: it does appear too pink, even for your audience of young women. If I understand you, these women are somewhat sophisticated. Bright pink is not a color associate with this audience… instead the pink in your brief makes more sense – a more off-hue pink! So… a wood pattern, slightly tinted towards pink (operative word: slightly), would make sense. Warmth is a good thing… bright pink is seen as something very different (ie: Barbie). Question: is visual hierarchy somewhat confused here? Where do you want us to look after the masthead… the theme title of The Future of Food? That would make sense, but I don’t think we do… instead we are pulled quite strongly down to the cut-lines. What to do? Well… size and contrast changes are something you need to consider. Enlarge and/or increase the contrast of the theme – and reduce the size and/or contrast of the cut-lines. Experiment until a good compromise is found between these elements. Maybe the date could appear “chunked” with something else… rather than sit in its own shape. I’m thinking you have a lot of separate rectangles in this composition.
Department: Love it! The “cut paper” approach works well for an audience of women who probably do creative arts & crafts projects in their spare time, and it certainly creates a lot of depth and interest on the page. I see only 2 issues here: The department needs a title of its own, you can’t repeat the article head for this. You may have already given this a name on your dummy layout that I saw today… not sure. Stars – what do they show us? I only see tiny bits of texture inside of them… and I don’t know which foods are represented in these 4 image-stars. Do you need to add more? Do they need to sit closer to their names in the list? Do they need captions? Does it matter… well, yes it probably does. Think about this, and make sure this element gives us new information that adds to the content. Yes, I am also wondering why “stars”? Oh – don’t forget a right hand page folio (odd #, right?)
Feature: The image is quite nice, and allows room easily for the type. Nice. I do question the font combination in the heading. Mixing 2 different sans serifs, one condensed the other regular just seems confusing. Think about your audience, think about what words in the title should be emphasized (say this out loud and notice where your voice goes). Then, be creative with your font choices… but make sure they aren’t too similar to each other. Hmmm… I’ve started to read this, and it appears like you have jumped into the middle of the article somewhere. It can’t start with “In support of this first vision…” because we haven’t read about the 2 visions yet. Revisit this, and make sure you use sections of the article that do not disrupt the “sense” of the material. Start at the beginning, and cut later in the articles if you need to cut.
Other feedback you have received have mentioned the dense, large section of body copy in the white box. I agree. You need to introduce some subheads to break this up and make it more inviting. It also seems to need increased leading, and/or reduced pt size.
I see the little shape at upper right that I saw on the Department page. Do you need it? If so… what text will sit there… again, I’m not sure you should repeat the article heading. Not sure why that would be helpful to the reader… instead, maybe you can give this feature a “FEATURE” title or use “THE FUTURE OF FOOD” which would be a way to bring the issue theme onto these pages and tie the features to the theme. Not sure – think about what makes sense to you.
Page #s… odd right, even left. Think about page 1 - always a right hand page across from the inside front cover. Always.
Can you see the crowd behind the spotlights, it’s a standing ovation. I didn’t think someone could be successful with applying a soft pastel color scheme to subject matter that encompasses habitats and sustainability. What a great job. Your cover, feature, and department present very different layouts and yet they provide the reader a consistent look and feel which carries the brand you’ve created for the project through the work. One again, really great work here. You certainly didn’t select colors or typefaces that would easily be a normal standard for this subject matter. I’ll be interested in learning how others view your results.
ReplyDeleteCover - Your cover has a confirmable and welcoming balance and unified approach. The graphic elements flow nicely throughout the page. Your translucent blocks appearing above and below the plates are very successful. If I had to find one thing to pick at, I would say it’s the masthead. The typeface used here is just not for me, but then again, I’m probably not the target audience here. I would certainly recommend not making any changes based on my dislike, but consult someone whom would be part of your audience.
Department - Your use of shadows here really adds to your design and provides a visual depth to the design. Much of the time I feel drop shadows are overused. In this case I believe they add to your design and do not take away from it. I would consider though that the drop shadow from the two top items is stronger (darker) than that of the large block of text at the bottom. Possibly matching the drop shadow opacity to the same values will create a balance in the presentation.
Feature - You feature surely makes use of the spread, kind of like an open table inviting me to sit down and to take a closer look. I could avoid the feature though because the body copy is so massive and has new were for my eyes to rest. I feel like it’s an entire book appearing in one paragraph. Could be overwhelming to the read. I might consider breaking this out into two columns rather than one very wide column. Just a thought, see what others are saying.
Carissa,
ReplyDeleteI agree with Michael about the color palette. It works very well with your audience. So good job here!
Cover: I see what you did here, but I think the pink background might be too pink? Unless that is what your going for, then that's fine. Maybe a lighter color for the pink instead of the bright one. Or maybe keep the wood texture because I think that would add a nice detail to your cover.
Department: I really like this a lot. I like the use of the text bubble and I really appreciate the typography here. I don't know if the stars are the best icon to use here? Just a thought.
Feature: The only critique I have for this one is the black type feels too harsh here in the layout. Try lowering the type size or increasing the opacity of the box.
Overall good work!
Carisssa – I believe you have received some good things to think about in the above 2 comments. Some things I’d like to reiterate and some new items:
ReplyDeleteCover: it does appear too pink, even for your audience of young women. If I understand you, these women are somewhat sophisticated. Bright pink is not a color associate with this audience… instead the pink in your brief makes more sense – a more off-hue pink! So… a wood pattern, slightly tinted towards pink (operative word: slightly), would make sense. Warmth is a good thing… bright pink is seen as something very different (ie: Barbie). Question: is visual hierarchy somewhat confused here? Where do you want us to look after the masthead… the theme title of The Future of Food? That would make sense, but I don’t think we do… instead we are pulled quite strongly down to the cut-lines. What to do? Well… size and contrast changes are something you need to consider. Enlarge and/or increase the contrast of the theme – and reduce the size and/or contrast of the cut-lines. Experiment until a good compromise is found between these elements. Maybe the date could appear “chunked” with something else… rather than sit in its own shape. I’m thinking you have a lot of separate rectangles in this composition.
Department: Love it! The “cut paper” approach works well for an audience of women who probably do creative arts & crafts projects in their spare time, and it certainly creates a lot of depth and interest on the page. I see only 2 issues here: The department needs a title of its own, you can’t repeat the article head for this. You may have already given this a name on your dummy layout that I saw today… not sure. Stars – what do they show us? I only see tiny bits of texture inside of them… and I don’t know which foods are represented in these 4 image-stars. Do you need to add more? Do they need to sit closer to their names in the list? Do they need captions? Does it matter… well, yes it probably does. Think about this, and make sure this element gives us new information that adds to the content. Yes, I am also wondering why “stars”? Oh – don’t forget a right hand page folio (odd #, right?)
Feature: The image is quite nice, and allows room easily for the type. Nice. I do question the font combination in the heading. Mixing 2 different sans serifs, one condensed the other regular just seems confusing. Think about your audience, think about what words in the title should be emphasized (say this out loud and notice where your voice goes). Then, be creative with your font choices… but make sure they aren’t too similar to each other. Hmmm… I’ve started to read this, and it appears like you have jumped into the middle of the article somewhere. It can’t start with “In support of this first vision…” because we haven’t read about the 2 visions yet. Revisit this, and make sure you use sections of the article that do not disrupt the “sense” of the material. Start at the beginning, and cut later in the articles if you need to cut.
Other feedback you have received have mentioned the dense, large section of body copy in the white box. I agree. You need to introduce some subheads to break this up and make it more inviting. It also seems to need increased leading, and/or reduced pt size.
I see the little shape at upper right that I saw on the Department page. Do you need it? If so… what text will sit there… again, I’m not sure you should repeat the article heading. Not sure why that would be helpful to the reader… instead, maybe you can give this feature a “FEATURE” title or use “THE FUTURE OF FOOD” which would be a way to bring the issue theme onto these pages and tie the features to the theme. Not sure – think about what makes sense to you.
Page #s… odd right, even left. Think about page 1 - always a right hand page across from the inside front cover. Always.
Nice work, a great evolution has happened. Yeah!