Hello Class! So I also didn't get to present on Thursday, therefore, no feedback :( So please please please give as much feedback as possible. It would really help! So I can rework this some more, make it better. Again, my audience is high school girls in grades 11-12th, probably living in the city or suburbs? I want my magazine to stand out, and be engaging, using the young hip lingo, but also be serious/educational. Let me know what you think!
Thanks guys!
Naidin – some great work here, and I think you are clearly moving in the right direction. Hopefully, you’ll get some additional feedback on this, but to start here are some of my thoughts:
ReplyDeleteBrief – nice, concise and the colors and images speak to your young audience.
Cover – The clever use of the orange and apple is great… now we need to recognize this as a word more quickly. Is this fruit as bright and light as it could be? Would increasing the contrast between the fruit and the grass help this? Also, the angle that you are introducing is something that could be repeated with other elements on the cover – again helping us “see” the word. For instance, I think you should consider angling the first part of the phrase “The Future of” to sit directly above “FOOD” – that would strengthen this angled approach. Then… how about angling the cutlines? Do you have too many (I think so) – although they are written in a great style for this audience. Eliminate some, think about page balance when you gather them together… and consider continuing the angle (BTW - You could drop “Ads For” and just say “Broccoli – YAAAAAS”)
Feature – I see a nice silhouette with text wrap, and it’s a good choice to use the child in b/w. I’m still wondering about the styling of “F I R S T”… and also wonder about whether the entire last sentence should be emphasized… because by emphasizing it – you are pulling our eyes directly from the photo over to this area. If you simply used a color contrast for “They have to eat first”… that creates a provocative intro to the article after seeing so little food in the refrigerator.
Department – Solid layout, with just a few issues to think about. Do you need the upper orange lines delineating and enclosing the large shape at top right? Not sure what the point is unless it leads us somewhere you want us to go…. And we follow it off the right hand edge. I suspect you want us to re-enter the page just below there… but I’m not sure it will happen. So… reconsider using that upper line, and just allow the bottom line to lead us in and around the composition.
Also – you need additional negative space at bottom of columns… too close to orange line there. Pull up the bottom edge of the text frames, and allow the text to reflow… OR cut text from the first section (so the Bhead “Future Frontiers” doesn’t move further down the page).
That’s it. Looking forward to seeing the additional content you will be adding to the mag.
Okay Coni sounds great! So great to finally here some feedback so I can get started! Thank you!
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